i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
