new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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