it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
