WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
