just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
