I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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