just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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