just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
