Quick, to the slutcave!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
