I have demons in me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
