he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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