I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He better not be in your backpack
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
