I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize