Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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