I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
