Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
