p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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