Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
