I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
