One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
