My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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