so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
