She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm too high and old for this...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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