Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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