Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
