i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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