Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
