We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
