I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
