should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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