Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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