K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
