I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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