Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
