I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
