There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
