Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
