mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
