quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize