When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Operation Purity has been aborted
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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