I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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