id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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