We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
