my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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