not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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