When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't turn off my feet"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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