I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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