He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
