I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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