it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
