Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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