My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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