you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
