i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
