His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
this will be a night to untag.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
