East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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