Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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