we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
