I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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