i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize