At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
