I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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