no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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