Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
