we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
