my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
